On First Looking into Hay’s Young Romantics

1

Shelley endeavored to reform the world,

In mythic poetry his visions unfurled;

In prose he contrived a grand aesthetic

But as husband, he tried, but is less sympathetic.

2

Lord Byron’s wit charms with cleverest rhyme:

All confess Don Juan is simply sublime;

So is the cruel poet’s surfeit of ego

The needed essence of the Byronic hero?

3

In lyric and letters gentle Keats astonished

Yet for Endymion was fiercely admonished;

But what other bright star ever alive

Has risen so far at age twenty-five?

4

Glorious Romantics! Shelley, Byron, and Keats,

Singly performing their poetical feats,

But who, when combined, no brighter light has shone—

Save when Shakespeare scribbled alone.

Gods and Dogs

I’m pretty sure that Leo is a theist and Lucy an atheist. I arrive at this conclusion based on Leo’s literally trembling fear during a thunderstorm and Lucy’s ability to wholly ignore it. Leo, like so many of the quivering bipeds in the mists of pre-history, quakes and shivers because he fears the terrorizing gods who thunder at him, demanding submission and obeisance in exchange for his continued meager existence and the possibility of finding a few bones and roots to gnaw on. He is in the early stages of forming some primitive canine religion, acknowledging the vast potency of the beings who control and threaten his pitiable life, and propitiating them with sacrifices of one or two of the rodents whose calories he can barely afford to forgo. Their anger subsides; they let him live. For this generosity, he establishes holy days, erects crude wooden effigies and stone idols, and spreads the word among his species of the means by which his terrifying, thunderous masters may be appeased. His fellow canines, having heard the thunder and as fearful as he, need little persuasion. He becomes what his descendants will call a priest. He is rewarded by finding a deer, dead only a week. He rises to leadership in the community, promulgating a rudimentary creed, and accepting tribute from his flock. He sits by warm fires, built by others. He has first crack at the scorched rabbit. Except when the gods get angry again, and he again cowers all a-tremble, life is pretty good.

Lucy, on the other hand, is not among the persuaded; no proselyte she. No thunder gods for her. Atheist all the way. Her eyes roll at her brother’s quaking. If she grudgingly acknowledges any masters at all, they are her parents; and her mind is clear that in truth they are, unknown to them, her subjects. She sleeps on a grand bed surrounded by them for her protection, lording that status over her lowly, credulous brother. Still, she is not without dignity-robbing, bone-deep fear, however fully divested of religiosity: If there is packing and car-loading, her advanced intellect warns her of abandonment and the inevitable shifting for herself thereby necessary. What new subjects—indeed, vassals—among the unwashed masses will be found to provide, provide? And going to the groomer for nail-cutting? I blush. She moans, cries, excretes, as if she is on the rack. But once back home, she resumes her regal status and lordly manner, pretending her sniveling never happened.

It Could Be Worse



While hanging around the house in quasi-house arrest, I thought perhaps it was finally time to storm the castle and read Robinson Crusoe author Daniel Defoe’s other, less well known historical novel A Journal of the Plague Year—you know, for comparison purposes. It’s his grim (reader beware) account of the bubonic plague—aka the distemper, the infection, or the visitation—that consumed London in 1665. There was a lot of social distancing going on, which was good, since you could catch it via airborne transmission, including the “breath” or “fumes” or “stench” of an infected person, or, as the physicians called it, “effluvia.” But also, unknown to Londoners or the rest of the world, you could catch it by a flea bite if that flea had bitten a rat carrying the virus. And there were a lot of rats.

During the worst weeks “these objects [dead bodies] were so frequent in the streets that when the plague came to be raging on one side, there was scarce any passing by the streets but that several dead bodies would be lying here and there upon the ground. . . . At first the people would stop as they went along and call to the neighbors to come out on such an occasion, yet afterward no notice was taken of them,” and people would simply “go across the way and not come near” the corpse. London, “I say, was much altered; sorrow and sadness sat upon every face. . . . All looked deeply concerned; and, as we saw it apparently coming on, so every one looked on himself and his family in the utmost danger. . . .Tears and lamentations were seen almost in every house, especially in the first part of the visitation; for towards the latter end men’s hearts were hardened, and death was so always before their eyes, that they did not so much concern themselves for the loss of their friends, expecting that themselves should be summoned the next hour.”

And summoned they were. As the plague spread, house arrest became literal. If anyone in a house were known to have the plague or have died, the entire household was imprisoned, with a watchman day and night to prevent escape of the rest of the household, who themselves often thus became infected. House doors were painted with a red cross; doors were padlocked from the outside. Defoe records escapes, bribery, even murder of watchmen. “Nor, indeed, could less be expected, for here were so many prisons in the town as there were houses shut up; and as the people shut up or imprisoned so were guilty of no crime, only shut up because miserable, it was really the more intolerable to them. . . .They blew up a watchman with gunpowder, and burned the poor fellow dreadfully; and while he made hideous cries, and nobody would venture to come near to help him, the whole family that were able to stir got out at the windows one storey high, two that were left sick calling out for help.”

“Idle assemblies” were prohibited, as were plays, feasting, and “tippling houses.” “Disorderly tippling in taverns, ale houses, coffee-houses, and cellars [will] be severely looked unto, as the common sin of this time and greatest occasion of dispersing the plague,” in the language of the multi-page “Orders Conceived And Published By The Lord Mayor And Aldermen Of The City Of London Concerning The Infection Of The Plague, 1665.” But social distancing wasn’t enough.

The dead-carts trundled through the streets and alleys every night, collecting the dead, the collectors throwing them in piles in the carts. How desperate would one have to be to take that job? Huge pits were dug, sometimes in churchyards. The cart would approach the pit under the light of lanterns, turn around, lean backward, and “the bodies shot into the pit promiscuously,” with dirt thrown over them as quickly as possible. Young Daniel was a venturesome soul, or a foolish one:

“A terrible pit it was, and I could not resist my curiosity to go and see it. As near as I may judge, it was about forty feet in length, and about fifteen or sixteen feet broad, and at the time I first looked at it, about nine feet deep, but it was said they dug it near twenty feet deep afterwards in one part of it. . . . Then they made larger holes wherein they buried all that the cart brought in a week, which, by the middle to the end of August, came to from 200 to 400 a week [in his parish alone]. . . . People that were infected and near their end, and delirious also, would run to those pits, wrapt in blankets or rugs, and throw themselves in, and, as they said, bury themselves.”

By late October, the contagion began to recede. Sixty-eight thousand, five hundred and ninety deaths in London and immediate environs were documented: “for about nine weeks together there died near a thousand a day.” Defoe estimated the real number to be closer to 100,000. Londoners, at least the ones who by good fortune or escape to the country were not infected, along with the few who managed to survive infection, breathed a little easier. But their woes were not at an end. The next year, 1666, would bring the greatest fire, before or since, in London’s long history.

Frolicking Among the Lotus Eaters

After 1, 770 miles, we have arrived at the Quartzite, Arizona, secret initiation ceremony for new Casita Brothers and Sisters into the Casita Union of Lifelong Transients, or CULT for short. We are in the middle of the desert with some hundred and fifty or so other Believers, most of whom have already endured the stringent initiation rites, though some of whom, such as myself, apprehensively await The Trials to come. As you will remember, at last year’s ceremony in Alabama, Val leaped into the abyss, endured The Trials, and joined CULT, while I feared to take the plunge and remained an observer from afar. But this year I am committed, though with considerable anxiety. The first night of the period known as The Trials begins with each of the hopeful novitiates coming before the Senior Elder who addresses the applicant with the prompts from the secret Casita Catechism. Each applicant must give each of the ancient responses, and the slightest memory lapse results in failure of the first Trial. Nevertheless, it can be revealed that the first night also involves branding of the Casita secret symbol on the bottom of the initiate’s left foot, a symbol whose occult meaning dates back centuries to the time when Casitas were pulled by horses and oxen.

The second night of The Trials, as I observed from a safe distance last year, involves prospective initiates dancing naked around an enormous bonfire. Hopeful initiates are judged primarily on their display of ecstasy and their ability to dance without limping after the branding of the night before. Those judged insufficiently rapturous or mobile are culled by a vigorous slap on the rump by one of the Elders, who, with stern countenance, points a disapproving finger into the darkness immediately beyond the fire’s outer ring, a ring that marks the outer boundary of the Circle of Joy. Dancing continues for half an hour, involving hundreds of circuits around the bonfire, with arms flowing, ecstatic cries, and tremulous wails of orgiastic and even orgasmic utterance issuing from the glowing, fire-lit faces of the hopeful initiates. Obviously, some degree of fitness is advantageous, and those unable to sustain these exertions fall or slump to the desert floor, their limp and spent bodies dragged by others beyond the Circle of Joy. One of the Elders, a concerned, older man, is especially attentive to the younger dancers, particularly the females, gallantly darting in at critical moments if any seem about to fall, lifting and supporting their glistening, bare bodies, whispering what are no doubt words of encouragement. He is so assiduous in this role that one can only infer that it has been assigned to him by the Senior Elder herself. At the end of the half hour, the senior Elder blows on a gigantic ram’s horn to signify the end of the evening’s festivities. The Hopefuls are wrapped in gorgeous Casita blankets—emblazoned with the secret symbol—and disperse to their respective campsites.

Of course the climax of all the festivities occurs on the third and final night of The Trials, in which one of the Hopeful initiates is selected for ritual sacrifice. Historically, this has tended to dissuade some owners from seeking membership, thus opting to forgo the many benefits, such as learning the secret handshake and participating as an Elder in future initiations. The process of selection of the Honoree (the term “victim” is forbidden) is, of course, secret, partially for legal reasons, as the legal team is still exploring the outer boundaries of Congress’s recent pronouncements on the concept of religious freedom. Some among the legal team have suggested that the organization’s acronym–CULT–might invite prejudice in this regard, but consensus remains elusive. In any event the grand announcement of the name of the Honoree is typically met with some relief and general applause. Naturally the choice is inconvenient for the person chosen, and usually results in some annoyance to the spouse, significant other, or next of kin of the Honoree. But that annoyance is substantially ameliorated by the awarding of a brand new Casita to said survivor, as well as the prospect of finding a new mate among the survivors of previous Honorees.

The final and most august stage of The Trials begins with the lighting of the final ceremonial bonfire, and each initiate, wearing a purple, ornate Casita robe, again comes before the Senior Elder and recites the Casita Oath and Law with appropriate and edifying gravity. Obviously I cannot reveal publicly any of the language of this venerated document upon pain of various unmentionable torturous punishments, which themselves cannot be specified to the general public upon pain of those very same punishments. Forgetting a single word leads to expulsion and possible confiscation of the initiate’s Casita, depending on the gravity of the memory lapse. Successful initiates, now first year novitiates, receive from the Elder the Casita necklace, which they are adjured never to remove.

These are the tests that lie before me. I have committed the Catechism, Oath, and Law to memory and steeled myself to the upcoming travails. Val assures me that, with a proper attitude, and presuming I am not the Honoree, I can actually enjoy them by submitting to their rigors with joy and exaltation. I’ll try to keep you informed if I get in.

Note: A few minor liberties were taken with the facts for this report.

Bicycle Adventures

Bicycle riding may be defined as long, Saharan passages of discomfort and boredom interrupted by occasional unexpected oases of entertainments and curiosities. About a month ago at three separate locations on our local rails-to-trails, Kelly O. and I saw three copperheads, agkistrodon contortix, one of which had the misfortune of coming under my wheels as I, being distracted by Kelly O.’s elucidation of the finer points of certain metaphysical problems in which he and I were engaged, neglected to give the surprised and annoyed serpent a sufficiently wide berth. We did not trouble to inquire after his injuries, but it is a certainty that he slinked back to his lair with a few broken ribs complaining to his wife about callous and inattentive humans.

Having nursed his ribs and bruised muscles back to health, I feel sure he would have taken comfort mixed with pleasure had he known of the adventure two weeks later of the author of his maladies. On that occasion, Kelly B., Glen, and I were at mile 46 of a long ride, again on the trail, rolling along at almost 20 miles per hour, with Kelly B. in the lead, me second, and Glen third. The trail was spangled with patches of sunlight and countless leaves, obscuring its contours, and at about the time Kelly B. said “bump,” I unaccountably found myself somersaulting through the air, with my feet, still clipped in, pointing skyward, bicycle momentarily above me. I landed on my back with a resounding and unpleasing thump, which happily threw the bike into the ditch, avoiding the inevitable scrapes or crimps otherwise its due had it, too, hit the trail. My helmet was cracked and the seat was twisted, but my companions were able to straighten the latter, and we were able to resume. Glen observed that the whole affair was most entertaining, and if I would offer to repeat it, he would happily wear his GoPro to record it for the entertainment of others.

This was not the end of our adventures. Yesterday, Kelly O. and I were resting at the Sumrall station, joyously occupied in heated debate, with Kelly this time challenging my views on some unresolved paradoxes of Aristotle. I was facing west, toward Main Street and the post office, and he was facing east toward Hattiesburg. Behind him, not seventy-five feet from us and a mere fifty feet from the post office and Main Street, there was a truck in the parking lot, with the passenger door strategically open and a woman of middle years standing on our side of it, minimally blocked to Main Street but totally visible to us. Just as Kelly was offering an unassailable riposte to a point I made concerning the Nicomachean Ethics, I interrupted with a dumbfounded “Holy cow!”, or similar expletive, as the lady completely dropped her drawers along with any pretension to modesty and partially squatted. Kelly turned around and briefly digressed from his enlightening disquisition to make an apt comment on the phases of the moon, which was then full. Before I could pull my jaw off the floor and regain the power of speech to inform her that there were facilities not five feet from where we were sitting, all of the physiological necessities had expired, drawers had been raised, and Sumrall returned to its genteel, bucolic self.

Surely these excitements were at an end. But no. Today five of us were homeward bound, having returned to the trail after a couple of hours absorbing the pastoral delights of the countryside. The wind was gusty and strong, and with no warning we found ourselves watching, not quite in slow motion, a dead oak tree, perhaps a foot in diameter near its base, wickedly fall directly onto the trail, one of its limbs catching and slightly wounding the lead rider and causing Teresa to hit her brakes so as to avoid running right into it. We all stopped of course, and fortunately the tree was small enough that we could move it off the trail. It is presumably unwise to anthropomorphize trees, but its intent did indeed seem a touch malevolent.

I would take up golf instead, but I happen to agree with Mr. Chesterton, who felt that it is unsporting to hit a sitting ball.

Unsolicited Advice to My Children

Parents and children have a highly evolved disconnect on the subject of unsolicited advice: Parents feel compelled to give it, and children have no wish to receive it. Parents have a biological need to dispense the fruit of their experience, and children have an equal need to roll their eyes and ignore it. But it’s tradition; after all, Franklin and Jefferson did it, and as a paean to tradition, I’ll give it a stab as well. Actually mine will be hidden since it appears in an unread blog. This allows me the pleasure of giving it without the annoyance of the eye-rolling. But in fact, it’s probably more advice to me than to my children. So, here goes.

Live within your means; find a good life partner; forgive freely; seek happiness, knowing that material things are not the means to it; do meaningful work; be not too proud, remembering that some of your accomplishment is the result of sheer good fortune and unearned gifts; be sparing in complaint; be slower to judge others; find humor in the everyday; give more, take less; love more; strive to find the right thing and to do it; share and be generous; try to leave the world a tiny bit better than when you entered it; temper justice with compassion; cry some, but laugh often.

When Letter-Writing Was Art

The mail is so abysmally boring these days, and so it has been for some time.  I strolled out to the mailbox today without the least sense of anticipation, long inured to the wad of paper trash that passes for mail in the twenty-first century. First in the pile was a Humana solicitation, presumably seeking my business for Part D Medicare coverage. I did appreciate their forthrightness, however—they announced on the envelope that “This is an advertisement” instead of pimping the envelope up with “official business” and all the other mimicking of government correspondence. The next item was a solicitation for Dish television, sent from Houston, addressed thoughtfully to “OUR NEIGHBOR AT” followed by my address and accompanied by numerous asterisks, various codes in both numbers and letters, and about fifty vertical marks of different lengths, all no doubt intended to enhance our neighborly feelings and gloss over the fact that they were two states away and didn’t know my name. Neighborhoods just aren’t what they used to be. Yet one has to go through it all or risk missing some bill. Next in the pile was a thin cardboard flyer solicitation from Wesley Medical Center, addressed to “OUR FRIENDS AT” followed by my address. Since they were actually in Hattiesburg, I had graduated from “neighbor” to “friend.” Again, there were those fifty vertical marks of various lengths on the adhesive address label, probably indicating the degree of friendship. The next two actually had my name: an invitation to the luncheon for retired folks from The University of Southern Mississippi, and the newsletter from the Salvation Army. Finally, an L.L. Bean catalogue. Happily, no bills. And of course, no actual personal letter, by which I mean a letter from someone I might actually know, maybe even handwritten.

It has not always been so, of course. Almost any adult over 30 can remember a day when written personal communication was not by texting or email, but through actual letters, handwritten, on stationery or even lined paper, in envelopes, with a stamp. From the writer’s licking the seal of the envelope at one end to the reader opening it at the other could take from two days to two weeks, and of course things could change during that time. Now contact is instantaneous, whether from down the hall or around the world. But as recently as 1989, in the Late Pleistocene pre-email period, it took a minimum of a week, and often more, for my near daily letters to get from India to home, and it seemed like even longer to receive letters from home to wherever I was in India. A letter, especially from a sweetheart or spouse, was a small treasure, sometimes ripped open to be read avidly on the spot, sometimes tucked away to be read and savored in a quiet, private moment. Letters were deeply embedded in the culture, even in our music: The Box Tops’ “The Letter” (“Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane. . . .”), Elvis’s “Return to Sender,” The Beatles’ “P.S. I Love You” and “All My Lovin’,” Allan Sherman’s “Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah,” Lulu’s “To Sir, With Love,” and R. B. Greaves’ “Take a Letter, Maria” are among many examples of “obsolete” songs no more likely to be imitated today than you are to get a letter in the mailbox.

I have been reading my father’s letters to my mother when he was in the Pacific during the Second World War. They apparently wrote each other about every two or three days, and some of his were eleven or twelve pages, though his writing was rather large. All of his letters from a war zone went through the censor, with the envelope bearing the censor’s stamp, since any reference to specific war activity or even mention of their locations was forbidden. Thus they are filled with the banalities of his daily life, much love-talk, plans for a future together, and routine mentions of which letter he received from her, how long it took, or semi-playful chiding that he had not received one from her for several days. Hers typically took two weeks to arrive, sometimes almost a month, and he would read them in some private place and then save them for another reading in the evening. No phone, no Skype, no Facebook, no twittering, no email—only letters.

In addition to actually getting a letter, the anticipation of getting letters, especially from home, was itself a deep pleasure, and if none arrived when expected, well that could ruin a whole day. I well remember a tiny event during an all-summer Scout trip to Alaska in 1963, when each Scout was required to send one post card home per day. We received mail about every week, usually at a national park office, and one week I remember another Scout—a country boy named Baxter, older, probably shaving for three years—visibly saddened that he had received no letter that week, while all the rest of us had. I even wrote his Mom, urging her to more diligence. A few fellows had sweethearts back home, and naturally those letters were supremely prized, as well as the source of some jocularity among those of us less favored.

Love letters constitute the most important sub-genre of the genre of letter-writing. In 1980 a trove of the love letters of the  twelfth century Heloise and Abelard was discovered, and I remember thinking when I read them some years ago that the student, Heloise, wrote slightly more eloquently—and more erotically—than her tutor, Abelard, the great philosopher and churchman who was castrated at the orders of Heloise’s uncle when he discovered their liaison. The mere fact that those letters were originally preserved though somehow lost for nine-hundred years is testimony to their importance, their vividness undiminished. She, having borne Abelard’s daughter, secretly married him to minimize the scandal (though protesting partly to protect his academic reputation), but soon got herself to a nunnery, though their love was unabated. The passions expressed in those letters reflected the great but lost love of her life, and those passions boldly triumph over the religious life—she became an abbess—to which she had effectively been sentenced. A particularly memorable passage captures the perfect intermingling of her love and passion: “if Augustus, emperor of the whole world, saw fit to honor me with marriage and conferred all the earth on me to possess forever, it would be dearer and more honorable to me to be called not his empress, but your whore.” Perhaps sitting in an attic today somewhere in England are some equally passionate letters from one William S. to the mysterious dark lady of the Sonnets.

I have also enjoyed, being a father of adult children, the letters of Galileo’s daughter Celeste, who, like her sister, was illegitimate. That status prevented her from being married in polite society, despite the long and loving relationship of Galileo and their mother—who later, with Galileo’s blessing, married another man. Galileo arranged for both girls to enter a convent. For some reason—resentment, illiteracy, disinclination to write, who knows—the sister never wrote her father. But Celeste wrote often. Her letters reveal her to be gentle and self-sacrificing, as well as adoring and deeply solicitous of her father’s well-being. Perhaps, like Heloise, the cloistered life gave her letters an even greater intensity, poignancy, and beauty.

In the American political sphere, no letter exceeds Lincoln’s letter to Mrs. Bixby for sheer rare beauty and metaphorical power in its attempt to assuage the inconsolable grief of a mother who, according (wrongly) to the War Department files, had lost five sons in the War: “. . . I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save.  I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours, to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of Freedom.”

Though Lincoln must inevitably take the laurel for presidential prose, Jefferson was not far behind, and John Adams not so far behind Jefferson. After their Revolutionary friendship, then later their bitter presidential rivalry, the aging Sage of Monticello wrote the aging Sage of Quincy. Several hundred miles apart, they never saw each other again, but for eleven years they wrote each other endearing and widely ranging letters, including another memorable one in the sub-genre of “consolation letters,” from the widower Jefferson to Adams on the death of the latter’s beloved wife Abigail, late in 1818: “. . .Tried myself in the school of affliction, by the loss of every form of connection which can rive the human heart, I know well what you have lost, what you have suffered, are suffering, and have yet to endure. The same trials have taught me that for ills so immeasurable, time and silence are the only medicine. . . . but that it is of some comfort to us both, that the term is not very distant, at which we are to deposit in the same cerement, our sorrows and suffering bodies, and to ascend in essence to an ecstatic meeting with the friends we have loved and lost, and whom we shall still love and never lose again.” What a pleasure those two aging giants must have experienced after the fires of their political enmity had been extinguished by time and wisdom as they read each other’s letters of friendship and collegiality, almost right up until their simultaneous deaths on July 4, 1826, fifty years to the day after their signing the Declaration. A scholar of Benjamin Franklin’s letters refers to the period as the Republic of Letters, denoted by its “serious correspondence,” and notes how Franklin bunched up his overseas letter writing right before the ship was to set sail. With the twittering, email, and Facebook of today, no one born after 1990 can possibly imagine the fraught anxiety or the quivering anticipation—and often both intertwined—of waiting two or more months to hear from a loved one, or needing to heavily tip the ship’s captain to make sure the treasured letter arrives at its proper destination.

Or even a week. I still have the letters of my first serious girlfriend from her six-week study abroad program in Salamanca, Spain. To this day, forty-eight years later, the name “Salamanca” has a curious magic for me, partly from its mellifluous sound but more so from its conjuring up a youthful and innocent summer where two virginal lovers lived the travails of separation, mitigated by daily letters. Absence did make the heart grow fonder, but the absence was lessened just barely but oh so necessarily by the fact that that handwriting was hers, she had held the letter, perhaps kissed it, and left just a hint of that familiar perfume on its pages. I still remember walking down the driveway to the mailbox after my nine-hour day of construction work, hopeful of at least one; two if I had missed one the day before or it was a Monday. I was sixteen, she was fifteen, and her Salamanca letters re-read today, just as surely as mine would, almost ache with a plaintive sweetness, a nearly unimaginably naïve innocence, a tender playfulness, and the full expectancy of an enchanted future of marriage and parenthood. Four summers later, I wandered Europe and my letters to the woman who became my first wife still took about a week, and many days of that trip I made my way to the American Express office seeking her letters to me.

After all, things could happen in the days or especially weeks between the writing of the letter and the reading of it. In Ken Burns’ 1990s production of The Civil War, many viewers found the single most poignant moment of Burns’ rendering of that cataclysm to be the reading of a beautiful letter from Major Sullivan Ballou to his wife Sarah. Numerous viewers of the show, including me, requested copies of the letter from PBS stations on which the show aired. I still have my copy, though not in his own hand, unfortunately, and it is moving with every reading. The letter anticipates the possibility of his death: “Sarah my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with all these chains to the battle field. . . . I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me—perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar, that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battle field, it will whisper your name. . . . But Oh Sarah! if the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you, in the gladdest days and darkest nights . . . always, always and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again. . . .” A week later, perhaps about the time Sarah read those words, the author of this gentle letter was killed at the first battle of Bull Run.

I am not sure of all the forces inviting me to engage in my recent frenzy of letter-reading. I had read the Jefferson-Adams correspondence long ago, as well as the letters of Nietzsche (letters much overshadowed by his “philosophizing with a hammer” books), the slightly disappointing and sometimes too obsequious letters of Voltaire, and the deservedly heralded letters of Keats, who at twenty-five died of tuberculosis in his room which I visited by the Spanish Steps in Rome. Orwell too died of that scourge at age forty-nine, and on a friend’s recommendation I recently read his letters, many suggestive of his unwillingness to be duped by the Left or the Right. He had directed his literary executor that if he did not live to finish Nineteen Eighty-Four, the manuscript should be destroyed. Thus put in a letters frame of mind, I read that first girlfriend’s letters, a small book of history’s love letters, and re-read Henry James’ delightful novelette The Aspern Papers, having remembered how much I enjoyed it as a college freshman. Based on the letters of Shelley to Clair Clairmont, the book focuses on the enterprising and deceptive efforts of a young gentleman scholar conniving to acquire the letters of long deceased poet Jeffrey Aspern to his youthful lover Juliana, who is now an ancient, haughty, and frail recluse, and who is rightly suspicious of her young tenant and fiercely protective of her treasure. The reader never learns what the letters reveal, and neither does the scholar, who after a long campaign hastily retreats from Venice following Juliana’s death and the guileless but shocking proposal by Juliana’s spinster niece for his acquisition of the letters. Proposal rejected, she burns the letters.  Perhaps gentlemen should not read other gentlemen’s—and ladies’—mail after all. But these days “mail” means almost everything except letters. In such a case, we must read those of a previous generation, since we receive none of our own.

Last Lecture, Three Lessons

Last Lecture, Three Lessons

This item is a bookend to “First Lecture, Last Year,” dated August, 2011

Let’s make the circle complete, and end where we began. If you would close your eyes, and imagine the things that I will be telling you.

It is March 12, not 1346, but 2013, maybe 2014. You are not in Bologna, Italy, but in Hattiesburg. You have just come in to Room 135 of this building, and your doctoral committee is also arriving, all with smiles and genuine bonhomie. This is the day of your final doctoral dissertation defense, and you are just a touch nervous, but still confident. Your chair would not let you be here if he, or she, did not believe that you were ready. One of your goals was to get to this day and to know your topic better than anyone in the room. You are professionally dressed, comfortably chit-chatting with the faculty as all of you move to the conference room and have a seat—you at the head of the table—all waiting for the last committee member to arrive. Unlike that little time-traveling you did back in HE 711 to the University at Bologna in 1346, here there are no malodorous smells, since your committee members have all thoughtfully showered. More judicious dental care has preserved at least most of their teeth. Your shoes are fitted to each foot, and you didn’t even have to use pig grease to shine them. Academic debates over transubstantiation are not foremost in your mind, and though you do have a worry list, flea bites and bubonic plague are not on it. The fact that you are here does not mean, happily, that you are necessarily a white European male. You might be, but you don’t have to be.

After all have arrived and exchanged the pleasantries that lubricate our daily interactions, your chair asks you to excuse yourself and close the door. Doris smiles and tells you that you will do fine; she knows you well and has a good sense of your likely triumph, having seen quite a few precede you. You thank her and sit down, and your mind wanders back over the events during the last four years or so that have led you to this climactic moment. Obviously one of those events is the day you actually made the commitment to do something about that long-simmering and even taunting thought about pursuing a doctorate in the first place—the commitment coming in the form of an actual application. That very first class of your very first course you remember well, just because it was the first. The courses proceeded, and your knowledge grew incrementally. Some classes were better than others, some harder than others; but overall, the two or three hours out of class for each hour in class was hard and often intense. You selected a chair, and then a full committee. You may have dealt with the stresses of work and family while immersed in those studies—the sick child, the possible slight annoyance of a significant other that you had to leave for class, the supervisor and parent both asking you when this would be over, the juggling of job and school. There were the challenging papers, and your self-recognition that your writing and research skills needed ramping up. Then there was the day you first got the idea for a dissertation. Oh, you were so naïve! It was so unsophisticated, such a jumble, a miasma of possible so-called research questions, bouncing around in what was then a methodological fog in your brain. But clarity started to take shape with your pre-proposal. You even had a disagreement with your chair, but you finally took his advice, and even eventually came to see, in your own good time, the rightness of it. You and your chair worked out any differences and procedural questions you might have had before your proposal defense, as well as before this final defense. So after being your critic, even making that most unenthusiastic face after hearing the first version of your idea, she ultimately became your greatest advocate, almost your coach at the point of defense. The proposal defense had been a warm-up for this one—in some ways harder, since you were persuading them to approve what you were proposing, in effect getting them on board. But today could be easier, since you’ve sort of done it before and you would mostly be explaining what you did and defending your interpretation of what you have done. Or at least so you hope. Just then, as all these thoughts and recollections are flitting through your head, the door opens, and your chair, all smiles, invites you back in.

It’s possible that you have to do a Powerpoint presentation, but it’s also possible you and your chair have decided to proceed the old fashioned way, with you only responding to questions. Your chair tosses out the first one, a real softball about what caused you to be interested in this, and maybe a little summary about how you went about it. No problem. It’s a nice ice-breaker and confidence-builder. Then others join in, moving in a sort of around-the-room pattern. You field questions about specific findings and your interpretation of those findings; you even tie in some of the theory and related literature. Professor X asks you a specific question on theory, but your research questions are perfectly derivative of your theory, and you handle it adroitly. He then asks you what your study “proves,” but you are way too smart for that old sucker punch question and don’t fall for it. Professor Y refers you to page 84 and asks you about a passage, but she doesn’t seem quite satisfied and makes a suggestion for a revision. There’s a good bit of page-turning through the document, with some questions related to particular passages, while other questions were broader and comprehensive. Professor Z, after some other questions from chapters four and five, comes out of left field and asks you what books you read; he is interested in the tenor of your mind. He then advises you to squeeze the lemon a little more in chapter five: get a little more out of the data; do some more meaning-making.

After a little over an hour, your chair wraps up and excuses you from the room for a second time. You step out, feeling pretty good. You chat some more with Doris, who reassuringly tells you that you did fine. After just a few minutes, your chair opens the door, all smiles again, and says, as she so loves to be the first to do, “Congratulations Dr.” and then your name. Your brain, even your skin, floods with relief and justified self-satisfaction. You come back into the room, and your chair reviews the revisions, including some substantial ones, that you will need to make for the final read, the one before the very final draft. Professor Z would like to read your revised Chapter five, but the other members are content to leave any final revisions to the discretion of the chair. You get hugs or handshakes from the other committee members, and then it’s just you and your chair for some clarifications, debriefing, and general decompression.

You drive home, aglow. You are on a Dissertation Defender’s High—the DDH. On some not-far-distant day, you will muse over what other things you have learned during this last formal component of your education—the things other than writing better prose, learning course content, and discovering research methods. You will reflect on the idea that you yourself have the potential to be your own best teacher, and that your education is primarily in your own hands, and that you should be a self-directed learner. Then the second lesson emerges when you begin to have an inkling that partly what a real education means is a divesting of your certitude, a Descartes-like willingness to entertain doubt about your fixed assumptions, and an enhanced willingness to hear the admonition of 17th century Oliver Cromwell, who implored: “I beseech thee, by the bowels of Christ, to consider that ye might be wrong.” You’ve known just a few too many people who, through their own ignorance, simply would not budge on matters where there just might be legitimate alternatives, and you resolve not to be one of those people. And finally, you reflect on a third lesson, this one from Michelangelo, long after that youthful but exquisite Pieta and even decades after the Sistine Chapel when he said, in his eighties: “I have just begun to learn the alphabet of my profession.” Your formal education may be over, but your learning is lifelong. But these three musings are for another day. The remains of this day are for celebration.

You may open your eyes. Class dismissed.

First Lecture, Last Year

Please indulge me for a little while, and just close your eyes, and imagine for about ten minutes the things that I will be telling you.

It is August 29, not 2011, but 1346. You are a student at the University of Bologna, in the north of what will become Italy, and it is the oldest university in the western world. The fact that you are here means that you are a white male, perhaps 16, whose father is either aristocracy, landed gentry, or a reasonably wealthy merchant.

The classroom is a little dark, the walls are made of stone, and there are several smells. Perhaps the most pungent is that of the large candles around the room, giving off their familiar aromas of wax and smoke. There is also the smell of body odor from all around, but you are used to it and you barely even notice it. In fact, you can even smell yourself. Your last bath was four days ago, about the normal interim. There is a slight odor of chamber pots from an adjoining room. You can smell a tincture of the dye of the linen of your clothes, which are a shift shirt and pants with buttons. You are probably not wearing any kind of underwear. Your new leather shoes, which were made to fit on either foot, are not long removed from the malodorous smells of the tannery, and, in order to impress, you have shined them with a little pig’s grease.

You are seated with other students on a smooth, well-worn wooden pew with no back rest, as Bologna students have been doing for almost three centuries. The great poet-scholar Petrarch may himself have sat on this very pew a mere twenty-six years ago, as might Dante before him. If you are fortunate, you have a quill pen, and of course a pen-knife for sharpening it, and there is an ink well on the long table in front of you and your fellow scholars for dipping the quill so that you may jot down some of the salient points of the professor. The fellow beside you is squinting at the professor, who appears a little blurry to him. Spectacles have just been invented but have not become widespread, and perhaps his eyes will not get too much worse for the 50 or so years he and you are likely to live. Of course that is only an average; the fact that you have survived the first two years of life, unlike three of your siblings, probably ups your chances to make it into your sixties. That is, of course, unless you succumb to any variety of diseases that the local doctor, known as a leech, cannot save you from by cutting your arm to allow the diseased blood to flow out, or by attaching several leeches to your skin to suck the blood out, or by applying several aromatic poultices to your head or abdomen. The leech also pulls teeth and cuts hair. He acquired his trade by being an apprentice, and like about 98% of Europe, he can neither read nor write, even his name, and he feels none the worse for it.

A little light comes into the room from windows, some of which even have glass. The tapping of mallet hitting chisel against stone and a little cursing from various workers are the main sounds wafting in through the window. Your professor is standing at his podium dressed in his full academic regalia. He is missing a few teeth—of course he has never actually brushed them in his life—and his breath is a little pungent, but his Latin is impeccable. He reads his lecture (naturally, since the word “lecture” is derived from Latin, “legere,” meaning “to read”). Your Latin, which you have acquired in schools called studia, is fairly good, and getting better. Still, in a moment of weakness, you wish he would just speak in some familiar dialect, but then you shake your head and realize that if he did so, the Polish, English, French, and German students scattered throughout the class probably could not understand him at all. Besides, anything of a scholarly nature would be written in Latin. The professor, like others at the university, teaches the entire curriculum; subject specialists will not come for centuries. He reads from a handwritten manuscript, since the printing press and printed material are still one hundred years in the future.

He is discussing one of the great debates of the day, transubstantiation, brilliantly explicating the fine points of whether the wine and bread of the Eucharist have been literally transformed into the body of Christ, or, instead, are symbolic of the body of Christ. You are particularly looking forward to his lectures later in the term concerning the question “if God is omniscient, knowing all the past, present and future, then isn’t man’s life and, most importantly, his salvation or damnation in the next life, pre-determined?” Or, on the other hand, if man’s will is free, how then can God be omniscient? There are other students in the room who have come all the way from England to the University of Bologna (a two month trip over questionable roads) just to hear him on this very question. His reputation is international. Using all three aspects of the trivium—grammar, rhetoric, and logic—which is the first part of your curriculum, he will attempt to resolve that question in a way that amazingly preserves your free choice and simultaneously preserves God’s omniscience. Now that lecture will truly be worth hearing and understanding. Even more importantly, you hope to master the trivium and hone your Latin grammar and vocabulary, your rhetorical and persuasion skill, and your knowledge of logical reasoning that supports your persuasion skill, so that you also may enter these disputes and possibly even become one day a bishop in the church, or perhaps a professor and author yourself, exploring these vital metaphysical questions examining the fate of our souls in the next world. As the professor leaves—the only clock in town is on the church tower, and it’s not accurate, but who would know—his assistant takes questions.

Afterward you go to the modest home of a local town resident where you board, and have your usual evening meal of pork, bread, and soup, downed with wine or ale, either of which is more dependable than the water. A brown rat stares at you from a shelf in the kitchen before scurrying away at the approach of the house cat. Just at that moment, you bend over to scratch at the bite a flea just gave you on your ankle, not giving it a second thought. You have heard of plague before, but no one knows much of how it is transmitted, other than God’s will. It would not even occur to you that a flea bite is one means of transmission. But if that flea has bitten that rat, and if that rat was carrying plague transmitted by the flea, you could be one of the 25% of the population of Europe—one out of four—who will die a grim death from bubonic plague between 1346 and about 1360. Are you one of the lucky ones? After that flea bite, will you be dead in a week, or will you continue your studies, learn profound and esoteric things, graduate with your doctorate, and begin your rise in that tiny world of theological scholars and masters of the liberal arts?

Now you may open your eyes. Welcome to  Higher Education 711.

John Rachal
August 20, 2011

The Yellow Flies of Walton County

My wife and I have just returned from the beach in Walton County, Florida, where we re-made our acquaintance with the yellow flies who prey on the tourists there. They are ferocious little thugs, hanging out with their homies under corner street lamps or lurking in the woods or behind trees in wait for innocent pedestrians such as ourselves. Val was out with the family dogs when she was viciously attacked by a gang of them who blithely ignored the snarls and bared fangs of the dogs. One of the little muggers had blood on his mind and the effrontery to chase Val right into the house before she could lock the door. I found the fellow boldly sitting on the edge of the chair, smirking and daring me to take him on. On the legal premise that one has the right to effect the demise of any intruder once he crosses the threshold, I, undaunted by his menacing look, grabbed the nearest weapon—a used copy of USA Today—and sought to dispatch him. Due to his being less fleet of wing than many of his more law-abiding and socially conscious cousins (isn’t that always the way of it: the meaner the thug, the less he bothers to stay in shape?), I swung and sent the little bastard to his final reward. I say bastard, but acknowledge the possibility that his parents did experience all the necessary connubial solemnities, since I made no trip to the courthouse to ascertain the pertinent facts. Indeed, I did not even know his name, but do know that with my assistance he has transmigrated to the next world. It would be presumptuous of me to conclude which world that would be, but I sure would like to have a say in the matter.

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